he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
