i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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