mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
