You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
