But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
