we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My breasts were aching with rage.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
