So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Found the puke drawer
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
