i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just want nice things and good sex
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
