Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize