i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i was born a porn star she said
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
