So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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