Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
