Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
