Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
