Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She's the barista slut.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
