my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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