so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
