Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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