there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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