we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
