Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
