i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
