I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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