So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
