I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize