apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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