do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
