there's paper in my vomit.
We named our party play list daddy issues
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize