I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
