Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize