I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
