I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
