sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
