I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
