Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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