i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
how does that bad decision feel?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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