I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
