the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
