I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
