let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
