New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
