god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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