i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
