But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
