also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
