I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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