Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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