You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
