I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
