I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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