And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
love makes seman taste better
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
