She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
