I think i sorta joined a cult last night
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
This gyro tastes like lonliness
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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