If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
