are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
