I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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