ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
