I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
false alarm, still single
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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