so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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