i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
