Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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