I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
