Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
