I cannot find my penis.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
