after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
